


Asshole.

by kozuseokie



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cussing, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Mutual Pining, Oneshot, Slight kagehina, Tanaka has like two lines lmao sorry bby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25043791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kozuseokie/pseuds/kozuseokie
Summary: "I need you to be my boyfriend.""I— excuse me?!" Asahi's eyes were wide as he practically squealed, stepping back in shock and making Noya laugh. Asahi loved hearing his laugh."I-I mean a fake one!"
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu
Comments: 4
Kudos: 61





	Asshole.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all, this is my first AO3 fic SO. . . b r e a k m e basically lmao wot did y'all think. If anything here is rude or offensive plz tell me and i'll edit it to be more conscious <3

"Yes, we're together, so back off..."

Asahi had absolutely no idea how he got into this situation. 

He genuinely had no idea. 

And yet, here he was, Nishinoya Yuu, his crush, mind you, hanging off his arm as he glared at another girl in his grade who had been practically stalking the poor libero at this point. 

"Noya but you're Pansexual! Doesn't that mean you like everyone?!" The girl, Konoka, still persisted though, her annoying high-pitched voice making Asahi want to rip his ears off and her obviously stuffed bra making him want to puke. You see, Noya was actually Pansexual, and gender never really effected who he liked. However Asahi?

Yeah, no, he never wants to see a boob ever. 

Like, ever. 

Or in other words, he's 100% gay. 

And has a 100% gay crush on his friend Nishinoya Yuu.

"I still have standards." Noya answered in a flat tone, rolling his eyes as he held Asahi's hand, locking his fingers with Asahi's. Asahi's heart nearly pounded out of his chest. 

"Oh my god... his hand is... so small? I want to protect him, he's so tiny..." Asahi thought to himself, gushing internally practically.

Konoka scoffed. 

"Seriously? And I'm not your standard? But he is?!"

Asahi frowned. That... was hurtful. Even if he wasn't actually dating Noya. Speaking of which...

How'd he get into this situation in the first place?

Well...

It was less than 10 minutes ago. 

He was walking towards school, bag in his hand and coat covering himself as much as possible. It was a frigid January morning, and before school volleyball practice was mandatory this around time to prepare for a competition that was coming up. He was feeling good, walking towards the building with a high head, humming a simple tune as he twiddled his fingers against the strap of his bag, until—

A small hand grasped the back of his coat, startling him and ripping a small squeak as he stopped moving, turning around to find a breathless Nishinoya, cheeks pink from what Asahi assumed was the cold. 

"Noya—? You okay?" Asahi muttered, patting the poor boy's shoulder. He almost felt like his hand caught on fire when he touched him, like a jolt of energy was sent up his hand, into his arm, and then zapping his heart as it thumped at practically 10,000mph. That always happened whenever he had touched Noya. He felt a rush of what felt almost like electricity. Even after he pulled away he swore he could feel the texture of the big fluffy coat Noya was wearing on his fingertips. 

"Okay... this... is gonna seem very... odd..." Noya heaved out, pausing every so often to attempt to take a breath. 

"Uh... okay...!" Asahi did his best to give Noya a reassuring smile, looking down at him with fondness. He couldn't help but focus on how he felt as if the younger's face was made even more beautiful by the snow present around them from last night's snowfall. His usual honey skin tone had paled considerably with the cold, cheeks still pinked though and nose ever so slightly red, lips pale and pupils blown from the sunlight. When he looked up at Asahi with that signature mischievous smirk, thin lips pulling into a smile, Asahi almost felt like he was losing his mind. Nishinoya was like all of his romance dreams come true... He was absolutely perfect in Asahi's eyes, even his flaws, such as the slight crookedness of his smile, or uneven eyelids, it just added all to the dream that was Nishinoya Yuu. 

"This boy is gonna be the death of me..." He thought to himself. 

"I need you to be my boyfriend."

And then the dreamy thinking shattered back to reality. 

Oh, but don't get me wrong Asahi was still fucking whipped. 

But now instead of having an internal monologue of how hot Noya was, Asahi was screaming internally.

"I— excuse me?!" Asahi's eyes were wide as he practically squealed, stepping back in shock and making Noya laugh. Asahi loved hearing his laugh. 

"I-I mean a fake one!" He paused time get a bit more serious. "Look, there's this girl who's... kinda obsessed with me. Konoka Haruka? She's in the same class as me and... Is... stalking me practically." He sighed as Asahi's face turned into that of concern. 

"... stalking?" Noya nodded, fitting his hands into his jacket pockets. 

"Yeah... She's been watching our practices from the windows, and although I've rejected her multiple times, she keeps confessing, literally every morning, and says she won't take no for an answer..." he groaned. Asahi gulped, nodding in understanding. 

"That... is kind of stalker-like..." He laughed uncomfortably as Noya nodded alongside. 

"Yeah, so can you lend me a hand and be my boyfriend when she comes again?" Noya smiles awkwardly, Asahi thinking he saw the blush on his face darken, but he couldn't really tell since Noya looked down. 

Asahi pauses.

Well... it's his high school crush.

Asking him to be his boyfriend. 

But it's fake...

But BOYFRIEND... 

"Yeah, I got you!" 

That's all it took. 

And now, where Azume Asahi stands, he's a goner. 

He is so goddamn whipped. 

"Uh... duh!?" Noya laughed, and although it'd go unknown to people who don't know him well, Asahi could tell there was a slight sense of nervousness in his laugh. 

"Oh really?" Konoka crosses her arms, a scowl on her face. "Then kiss."

Nishinoya's blood ran cold. 

Kiss... Asahi?

... you mean the fucking hot ass giant he's had a crush on ever since he got to this high school?

Well. 

Fuck. 

Nishinoya paled. "I..." he blushed as he looked down at the floor, feeling Asahi's thumb gently rub across his knuckles in a soothing matter. That just darkened his cheeks. He wanted to retort, but he honestly didn't know how...

"Fuck, this might be the end... goodbye good world of secretly admiring Azumane Asahi from a distance without a stalker bitch breathing down my throat... you were fucking beautiful—"

"Ah, we... haven't gotten to that stage..." Nishinoya's head whipped up towards Asahi, jaw dropped as he watched the (to him) gentle giant. He was also obviously blushing, scratching the back of his head as his lips were pulled into a fond smile. "We're going to hit that milestone when we get there... but thank you." He quickly took initiative, pulling Noya close with an arm around his shoulders as he began to turn around. 

"I need to take my little birdy to his class, but thank you for the concern!" His smile was impenetrable as Konoka just stared with a blank, yet slightly shocked face. Asahi began to lead Nishinoya back, Nishinoya not seeing the glare that Asahi gave to the girl, causing her to squeal and run off. But of course he heard about it anyways afterwards with Asahi saying how bad he felt for glaring. But Nishinoya was just still wondering...

Why did his hand fit so perfectly into Asahi's...?

... and why did he not want to let go?

————

"NOYA! YOU AND ASAHI ARE DATING!?"

Nishinoya could feel the water he was drinking practically shooting out of his nose, coughing sporadically as an over-enthusiastic Hinata and Kageyama approached him. It was the same day, however it was lunch period, and Nishinoya had walked to the vending machine for something to eat. In a rush to get outside and talk to Asahi about the "please be my fake boyfriend", he forgot to grab the lunch his mom made for him.

"What? Oi, where'dya hear that?!" Nishinoya seethed, even though the tips of his ears were steadily growing redder alongside his cheeks. Hinata was bundled up in a scarf like a baby bird, Kageyama not too far behind, however somehow Hinata looked cuter... almost like… one of those chibi illustrations... somehow...

And it seems like Kageyama loved that by the constant expression of prideful admiration on his face as he watched Hinata, a straw leading to his milk carton in his mouth. 

"From Yachi! Apparently she had heard it from Yuri, who heard it from Haruhi, who heard it from Tsuyu, who heard it from Hana, who heard it from Rina, who heard it from Konoka!" Hinata had a big grin, Kageyama going to hug him from behind as Nishinoya paled. 

Wait...

Shit. 

...

SHIT! 

"... FUCK." 

And that's all the two heard from him before he ran, not even bothering to grab his canned bread from the vending machine.

Kageyama and Hinata paused, glancing at each other, both raising an eyebrow. 

... what just happened?

————

“AZUMANE ASAHI!” Asahi jumped out of his skin as the door to his classroom slammed open, a booming voice calling for him as he whipped his head around, eyes wide and soul halfway left from his body. Nishinoya was panting, nose reddened from the cold and hunched over slightly, seeming as if he had been running. 

“We. Need. To. Talk.” He said sternly, eyes slightly widened as he did his best to convey his seriousness. And of course, much to Nishinoya’s panic, the class started to whistle and cheer as Asahi nodded and stood up. The poor gentle giant looked confused as his friends, and other people in class, eyed him, some wiggling their eyebrows or making “gestures” as he packed up his backpack. Luckily it was already the end of the school day, and so they could just talk before they headed to the club room. He walked over to Nishinoya, figuring he should just ignore his friends and such, still confused at what was happening. He knew he never told anyone about his crush on Nishinoya (he was too nervous of judgement), so his friends, let alone his classmates, couldn’t have been referencing Noya... right? 

... he probably just missed something. 

Not like everyone was watching as he took Noya’s hand to lead him out. 

And everyone whistled and cheered yet again. 

Not at all. 

———-

“Wait, so… the whole entire school… thinks we’re dating?” Asahi had to repeat himself. He was in complete shock from what he was hearing. Once Noya had gotten them outside of the school, Asahi sat down on one of the benches, Noya standing in front of him shakily as Asahi rested his hands on the shorter’s hips to try to ease his shaking. If he was being honest though, he was a little upset that Noya looked so nervous. Was he that bad of a potential boyfriend to make Noya so nervous…?

“... Y-Yeah…” Noya’s voice was shaky as he spoke, more nervous than Asahi had heard it in a long time. He sounded afraid… But of what? Nishinoya wasn’t one to shy away from his sexuality, often coming to school with gay pride pins on his bag, and when he had first started dating a guy, he never tried to hide it. So why was he so nervous to have everyone thinking he and Asahi were dating? Asahi was tempted to ask, but he swallowed the question down. He couldn’t ask… he just couldn’t. 

“... I’m sorry… this is my fault. I shouldn’t have wrapped you into this shit…” Nishinoya sighed as he averted eye contact, looking to the side. Asahi frowned, clearing his throat as he glanced around. 

“I mean… hey, it’s not that big of a deal…” Asahi laughed nervously. “... I… I don’t mind.” 

Noya’s eyes flickered over to Asahi almost instantly, slightly widened as his eyebrows lifted slightly, and for a second Asahi could have sworn he just made the biggest mistake of his life. 

“... You don’t…?” But then Noya’s little voice as he asked that question melted his heart. Noya bit his lip as he looked down. 

“Not at all…!” Asahi quickly replied. Noya paused, glancing back up at Asahi. 

“... Then… you wouldn’t mind if I… if— um… god nevermind—“ Noya covered his face with a hand, trying to hide his embarrassment. 

“No, no! What is it, Yuu? You can ask me.” Asahi tried to reassure, going to move his hand from his face to hold it. Noya huffed, pursing his lips as he looked away again, face becoming redder. 

“... Can I… Kiss you… Right now...” 

Asahi melted. 

On the spot, he entirely melted into a pile of goo at the hands of Nishinoya Yuu, and turned to stone.  
Or in other words, he froze. 

“... Asahi?” Noya looked back over at Asahi, only to see his staring up at him with wide eyes. He sighed. 

Noya knew this would happen. 

He didn’t feel the same. 

“You know what, nevermind— ah, fuck it, I’m gonna tell everyone it was fake, just… forget this happened.” Before Asahi knew it, Noya had wriggled out of his grip, running away. 

And then the statue crumbled. 

Once Asahi finally registered what was happening, he stood and grabbed his bag, breaking into a sprint on the spot as he was hot on Noya’s tail. 

“Yuu! Wait!” 

But unfortunately for Asahi, speed was never on his side, and by the time he had gotten there, he walked in on a shirtless Noya who was changing clothes as Tanaka and Hinata continuously bothered him. 

“I’m just saying, Noya, If you’re having issues with your boyfriend I’m there to help you, man!” Tanaka smiles as he spoke, patting Noya’s shoulder as Hinata nodded. 

“Exactly! Kageyama and I fight all of the time, if you guys are fighting I’m sure you’ll be able to resolve it! Plus, if you guys both really like each other it won’t matter soon enough!”

And it seemed as if Asahi walked in as soon as he had enough. 

“Will you both shut up!” 

It fell dead silent as Noya glared at the two, nostrils flaring in anger as tears filled his eyes. 

“Asahi doesn’t like me! Okay!? Happy?! He doesn’t fucking like me! We were never together, he just helped me to get that asshole Konoka off my tail because she was practically stalking me! Asahi doesn’t like me for fucks sake! Even if I want him to, he doesn’t! So just shut the fuck up about it!” Nishinoya’s voice was breaking slowly more and more with each sentence, Tanaka and Hinata stunned as they simply stared, jaws slack and eyes wide, as the rest of the team were in a similar condition as they stared. Noya panted at the end of his rant, still glaring, until it suddenly all faded. 

“... he… he doesn’t like me… okay?” Asahi’s heart broke. He never heard Nishinoya’s voice sounding so hurt… Not ever since… he left the team… 

“... he doesn’t.” 

It was the slight sniffle though that really set Asahi off. And that’s when everyone realized he was there. 

He calmly walked over to Noya, who had his back facing him, Tanaka and Hinata backing away as he gently took Yuu’s shoulder, turning him around to cup his face. And he just rest his forehead against Yuu’s, closing his eyes as he blindly wiped the tears off his cheeks with his thumbs. 

“... you’re stupid.” 

An audible gasp came from his teammates. Asahi was never the type to call anyone stupid, let alone Nishinoya. 

“What…?” Nishinoya glared, his tone having a tinge of malice, seemingly trying to hide his true feelings of embarrassment with anger, but Asahi wasn’t having any of it. 

“C-...Can I show you how I actually feel? Not just how you think I feel?” Asahi didn’t open his eyes the entire time, too afraid to see his face. However, when Noya didn’t reply, he grew anxious of the constant darkness. He slowly pulled away from Nishinoya’s forehead, slowly opening his eyes, only to see Yuu’s quivering lip, and red splotchy skin covered in tears. This time, Noya closed his eyes, unable to keep eye contact as he simply nodded. 

Asahi lifted a shaky hand to the smalle’s’ face, resting it on his cheek as he traced the other’s lips with his thumb. They were slightly rough, a tad chapped, and Asahi could tell that he bit his lip a lot. They were a dark rose color, contrasting to the paler pink of Asahi’s own lips. He took a deep breath, moving to place his head against the libero forehead again as he heard Yuu’s breath hitch. 

“... A-... Asahi…?”

His voice was so little, so broken sounding. Asahi hated it. He gently shushed him, placing his thumb over Yuu’s lips one more time as he closed his eyes, moving his thumb to soothingly rub his cheek, before pressing his lips against Yuu’s. The entire team just gasped, watching everything going down. It felt like something straight out of a TV drama. Unlike Yuu’s, Asahi’s lips were very soft, a product of his mother buying him chapstick so often, saying that “handsome boys have healthy lips” ever since he was young. That’s also where his fascination with occasionally stealing his mom’s lipsticks and messily putting them on began. Little to say, Asahi’s mom knew he was gay when he first came out of the womb basically. She’d always been able to see right through him. Asahi swore that the first time he saw her, the first thing that went through her head was just…

“...Hm, yes, definitely gay... I love him.”

And so then hence, he was gay. 

Asahi didn’t do much with the kiss, just allowing his lips to gently move against Yuu’s before he pulled back ever so slowly, their lips almost sticking together as he hovered his mouth over Yuu’s before pulling away. He kept his eyes closed for a second, before looking down as he opened them. 

“... I—“

Bruise-covered arms (thanks to being on the court floor half the time, extremely bruised arms) wrapped around Asahi’s neck as a body collided with his, and if it wasn’t given his stature Asahi could’ve sworn that he would have fallen over from the sheer force of…

Yuu. 

He felt the libero’s face bury into his shoulder as his form shook, arms tight around him as Yuu breathed out shakily. 

“... Asshole.” 

Asahi could only smile as he gently pushed Yuu’s face from his shoulder, pressing another tender kiss to his lips. 

“Yes, baby. I’m an asshole.”


End file.
